The holidays are a cherished time for gathering with loved ones, sharing meals, and reflecting on what matters most. Amid the laughter and gratitude, it’s also the perfect opportunity to have meaningful conversations about the future—including end-of-life care planning. While it may not be the easiest topic to broach, starting the conversation now can bring tremendous peace of mind for everyone involved.
Advance care planning involves making decisions about your future healthcare in case you’re unable to communicate your wishes due to illness or injury. These decisions are documented through tools like advance directives and POLST (Practitioner Orders for Life-Sustaining Treatment) forms, ensuring your preferences are respected and relieving your loved ones of the burden of guessing what you would want during a crisis.
Why Have This Conversation During the Holidays?
The holidays are often one of the few times when family members are together in one place, making it an ideal opportunity to discuss sensitive topics like advance care planning. Talking about it in a supportive environment normalizes the conversation and allows you to express your wishes clearly. Think of it as a gift to your family—one that spares them the uncertainty and emotional strain of making these decisions for you later.
Tips for Bringing Up the Topic
If you’re unsure how to start, here are some tips to make the conversation easier:
- Choose a Calm Moment: Wait for a natural pause in the day, such as after a meal, and express your gratitude for your family before introducing the topic.
- Make It Personal: Start by sharing your own thoughts. For example, “I’ve been thinking about my healthcare wishes, and I’d like to share them with you and hear yours too.”
- Stay Positive: Frame the discussion as an act of love and care, not fear. Let your family know this is about giving everyone peace of mind.
- Keep It Simple: Focus on starting the conversation rather than resolving every detail in one sitting.
Tools to Help You Plan
One of the most important steps in advance care planning is completing an advance directive. Shore Medical Center offers a downloadable, three-page form that guides you through the process. It includes suggested topics to discuss with your healthcare representative and physician, such as:
- Preferences for treatments like CPR, ventilators, artificial nutrition, and dialysis.
- Your feelings about organ donation.
- What "meaningful quality of life" means to you.
- Where you would prefer to receive end-of-life care.
These questions are designed to help you clarify your values and wishes, ensuring that your advance directive truly reflects your desires. To download and print the form, visit Shore Medical Center’s Advance Directive page.
Planning with Confidence
It’s natural to worry about making decisions now that might limit your options in the future, but advance care planning is not about locking yourself into irreversible choices—it’s about giving yourself control. Remember, you can always update or change your advance directive as your circumstances or medical advancements evolve. Your decisions today are based on the best information you have and reflect your current values and goals. Having a plan in place doesn’t mean giving up on hope or life-saving measures; instead, it ensures that your care aligns with your wishes while leaving room for flexibility should new treatments or recovery options become available.
Why It Matters
Advance care planning isn’t just about legal documents—it’s about opening a dialogue with the people who care about you most. By sharing your wishes now, you’re empowering your loved ones to honor your preferences and removing uncertainty during stressful times.
This Thanksgiving, let’s talk turkey—and start a conversation that ensures comfort and clarity for you and your family. For more information or assistance with advance care planning, contact Shore Medical Center’s Social Services team at 609-653-3628.
